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Conformity Crushes The Soul

The following post is an excerpt taken from my book Finding My Way, Facing My Journey With Courage. Its message relates to all aspects of our life. When it comes to making health decisions, the mindless approach of our current healthcare model forces us to put up a facade of conformity to fit in. We believe that we have to “manage” our symptoms with medications and live with their many side-effects.

This approach doesn’t address our bio-individual needs or why our symptoms are there in the first place. It’s disempowering to come from a place of “hoping” to feel better. Living this way day after day, year after year, slowly crushes the soul.

Throughout all of my health struggles, I learned to listen to my inner guidance when something didn’t feel right. I didn’t accept the label that the doctor gave me based on my symptoms. From that, I gained the confidence to change direction to seek alternative care. I worked with naturopathic and functional medicine doctors, changed my diet, and practiced mindful self-care, to get to the root of my health issue. Knowledge, education and a willingness to explore was empowering as I took back control of my health.

I’m sharing this excerpt, taken from Chapter 10 titled “The Gift of Cancer.” Post cancer, I was able to see things more clearly, and began to build my foundation of trust with myself.

The Gift of Cancer

“Sudden illness can be our launching pad for a new way of living. Opening our minds to more meaningful experiences, and living authentically, instead of by default."

The message that our society sends, especially to our children is, “Be perfect; don’t make mistakes, or you’ll look weak and incompetent.” This is dangerous. In reality, making mistakes is the quickest way to learn what it is we don’t want to get clear on and what we do.

There is always a lesson in every experience. It’s important to become conscious of everything you’re learning along the way. Having faith takes a lot of self-respect, and with self-respect, you gain confidence in your choices and do not rely on others to make them for you. A great book by Terry Cole-Whittaker, What You Think of Me is None of My Business, talks about just this.

Whittaker writes, “Being in resistance to the flow of your natural self is Hell. Being in the flow of the spiritual life is Heaven.”

That spiritual life of being in Heaven is the place I inhabit when I connect to my true source, spirit, and soul. It is that feeling of getting goose bumps about an idea or feeling exceptionally happy about something I want to pursue. I will not fall into the trap of overthinking and talking myself out of it or letting others talk me out of it. There’s a reason that idea popped into my mind, and I want to explore it. The more I do, the more I know that I am on the right path.

Things just started showing up in my life that directed me like a GPS does my car. The same holds true if I go the opposite direction. If I focus my attention on what makes me feel bad, like I did in the past, I would have just continued having that same negative experience.

How did I remove the fear to try new things?

I used to say to myself, “No matter how hard I try, I just can’t take the next step.” Or, “I can’t make up my mind. Do I stay at my present job, or go after this new opportunity that looks interesting?” When I removed the “right or wrong” option out of the decision-making process, I felt much more confident in my choice. No matter what path I chose, it took me to a different destination on my journey.

A wonderful book by the late Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, talks about this in detail. Jeffers talks about when you change the way you look at your life; both options will be the right one. You leave behind all the fear and guilt.

Jeffers writes, “Each path is strewn with opportunities – despite the outcome.” Remove the fear, and do it anyway, allows you to realize, either way, you cannot lose.

When we ignore our willness to explore, our feelings and emotions stay stagnant. We feel trapped, and believe there is no way out. Those feelings of disempowerment become a self-fullilling prophecy, and you'll stay with your current situation, even though it causes you pain. I'm here to tell you that you can change direction. And when you do, your perception of life will grow and evolve in a more positive way. You'll find your answers and will not have to live with a life long subscription to your health diagnosis.

Contact me today for a free 50 minute discovery session. It will be time worth spending to gain a broader perspective on your health issue, and my goal is to empower you to take back control.

Coming soon! 5-Day Detox for Beginners! May 7 - 11, 2018!

Spring cleaning at its best! Easy to follow recipes, menus, shopping lists, dining out guide and more! Group calls and daily support!

Details will be available on my website soon. If you think you would like to participate, please send me an email at and I will add you to my list. Each week a lucky reader will win free access to the program!

To your health and happiness!

Donna Markussen

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