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Befriending Guilt

I am a huge advocate for taking time for self-care, to self-nuture without feeling guilty. The word "NO" takes on a whole new meaning in your life, when you get this message.

This excerpt is going in my second book, Finding Health After 50. Today, I am sharing this new interpretation of why it is important to protect our sacred self. Who knows? This may be exactly what you needed to hear today....

Have a wonderful day!

Guilt is that feeling we run from when we see it coming, yet we can't seem to hide. Guilt is a major happiness robber. Guilt takes up valuable real estate in our mind and tricks us into thinking we are wrong and the perpetrator is right. Guilt plays with our self-esteem and keeps us in the victim mentality, prohibiting our ability to find the true picture of what is really happening. And, by the way, when we befriend Guilt, it means the person who is robbing our energy wins!

In first my book, Finding My Way I talk about my own personal boundary challenges and when I stood up for myself, I became a much happier person. I wrote:

If we don’t honor ourselves by setting clear boundaries, we remain the main character in our victim story, letting others dictate how we move through life. When we ignore our own feelings, we are putting other people’s health and welfare ahead of our own.

You deserve to feel good.

You deserve to protect yourself from people and things that make you feel bad.

You deserve to honor all that is inside you.

By mindfully taking care of ourselves, we will be available for others in a more meaningful way. In order for us to put our world in order, we must first cultivate our own lives and know where our heart lies. That’s when we can begin to help others see their light.

To deepen this practice I want you to notice how you feel in a situation that is robbing your energy and life force. Are you feeling anxious and trapped, with no way out? Does your body tighten up as you feel a rise in blood pressure? If so, that’s a true indication that you are not in agreement with what is happening, yet still allowing the situation to unfold.

This is when it’s helpful to stop, take a step back to evaluate what is going on. Call a trusted friend, coach, or family member, who can offer a clear perspective of the situation. Staying mindful of what is happening, allows you find a way to acknowledge your feelings, to investigate the situation, and to realize this is not serving your well-being. Remember that quote from my book “No one gets to make me feel sad, bad or anxious without my consent!”

You wouldn’t let them treat your children this way, learn to take the same steps to protecting yourself. When you do, you kick that guilt train off its tracks, and live according to your rules!

With love and gratitude,


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